Navigating Family Disagreements: What to Do When Siblings Can't Agree on Elderly Parent Care in Maryland
Caring for an elderly parent is a significant responsibility that often requires cooperation and coordination among siblings. However, disagreements can arise, making it challenging to determine the best course of action. In Maryland, there are several steps you can take if you and your siblings cannot agree on who will care for your elderly parent or the care they will receive.
Understanding the Challenges
Disagreements among siblings can stem from various factors, including:
Different Opinions on Care Needs: Siblings may have differing views on the level of care required for an elderly parent, such as in-home care versus nursing home placement.
Geographical Distance: Siblings living far away may have different perspectives compared to those living nearby. Conflicts may arise between siblings when geographic distance or other factors lead to an uneven allocation of responsibility when caring for an elderly parent.
Financial Concerns: Disputes may arise over how to finance care for an elderly parent and who will bear the financial responsibility.
Emotional Factors: Old family dynamics, unresolved conflicts, and emotional stress can exacerbate disagreements.
Steps to Resolve Disagreements
1. Open Communication
Start with open and honest communication. Schedule a family meeting to discuss your concerns and preferences. Ensure everyone has an opportunity to express their views and listen to each other without interruption. Sometimes, understanding each other’s perspectives can help find common ground.
2. Seek Help from Neutral Third Parties
If discussions among siblings reach an impasse, consider involving a neutral third party to help. A trusted third party such as another family member or a clergy member could help resolve the dispute. Or, you can engage a mediator. A mediator can facilitate productive conversations and help the family reach a consensus. Mediation services are available through community organizations, legal aid societies, and private mediators specializing in family disputes.
3. Consult a Geriatric Care Manager
A geriatric care manager is a professional who specializes in elder care. They can assess your parent's needs and provide recommendations for care options. Having an expert opinion can sometimes help siblings agree on the best course of action.
4. Involve a Family Therapist
Family therapists or counselors can help address underlying emotional issues and improve communication among siblings. Therapy can be particularly beneficial if long-standing conflicts are contributing to the disagreement.
Legal Options
If informal attempts to resolve the disagreement fail, legal intervention may be necessary. There are a number of legal options that may be available to allocate decision-making responsibilities and to ensure proper care for an elderly parent:
1. Power of Attorney
If your parent still has the mental capacity to enter into a legal document, they can execute a power of attorney (POA) document and Advanced Healthcare Directive (AHD), designating one or more individuals to make decisions on their behalf. Having your parent designate others to make such decisions while they are still able to do so can prevent sibling disputes in the future and can ensure that your parent's wishes are honored.
2. Guardianship
If your parent is no longer capable of making decisions and does not have a POA or AHD, you may need to seek guardianship through the court. Guardianship grants one or more individuals the legal authority to make decisions about their parent's care and/or management of property and finances. A guardian can be appointed for the person, property, or both. The court will evaluate the situation and if no less restrictive alternative is available, will appoint a guardian or guardians to serve in the best interest of the parent.
Here’s what to expect in such a scenario:
1. Petition for Guardianship: One or more siblings can file a petition for guardianship with the court. The petition should outline why guardianship is necessary and who is best suited to serve as guardian. In most cases, a petition must be accompanied by certifications regarding your parent's mental capacity.
2. Appointment of Attorney for the Alleged Disabled Person. The court will appoint an attorney to represent your parent's interests. Such attorney will ensure your parent receives due process and that their preferences are stated.
3. Notice to Interested Parties. Notice of guardianship proceedings will be served on individuals and institutions designated under the law to be "interested persons." All interested persons will be given the opportunity to assert their position regarding the appropriateness of the guardianship and/or the fitness of the proposed guardian(s).
4. Hearing: The court will hold a hearing where all interested parties can present their case. The judge will then make a decision based on the evidence and testimony provided.
5. Appointment: The court may appoint a guardian, who will have legal authority to make decisions about your parent's care, property, or both. In some cases, the court may appoint co-guardians if it believes that shared responsibility is in the best interest of your parent. Guardianship of the person and guardianship of the property can also be awarded to separate parties.
6. Ongoing Oversight of the Court. The court has ultimate oversight over guardianship matters. Certain training and filings may be required of guardians to ensure that guardians are acting in the parent’s best interests.
Conclusion
Remember, the primary goal is to ensure your parent receives the best possible care while respecting their wishes and needs. Seeking legal advice and involving professionals can help navigate this complex and sensitive process. Please contact our office to speak with a dedicated family law attorney. Our group of highly experienced attorneys are ready to help answer your questions and guide you through this process.
