What is Nesting?

Unlike typical shared parenting time agreements, which have children traveling back and forth between each parent’s home, in a nesting agreement, the parents alternate spending time in the family home (the nest), and the children stay put.

In most cases, separating parents who opt for nesting see the arrangement as a temporary fix for the benefit of the children. Eventually, each spouse will need his or her own home to live separately with the children. Separating parents may opt for nesting if they cannot afford to support two households, if they are still working out their final divorce settlement, or if they want to delay any potential disruption to the children. If used, nesting should only be a temporary arrangement. Nesting may help children through the separation because it allows the children to temporarily stay in the home to which they are accustomed.

There are few options for parents when it comes to nesting. Some separating parents opt to share or have separate rental accommodations. Others will stay with family or friends. Some will organize a combination of each option when they are not with the children.

The most obvious benefit of nesting is financial. Couples who reside together can save money when they only have to support one family home. If the plan is eventually to sell the family home, nesting can be a beneficial financial decision because couples can nest until the housing market is favorable to their needs or until other ancillary matters are resolved. Sometimes, nesting is necessary for couples that need time to reestablish themselves financially before they sell the family home. Arguably, the emotional benefit of nesting for children is maintaining the children’s stability while the parents work through their differences, and avoiding any abrupt changes for the children.  

There are, however, considerable downsides of nesting, particularly for extended periods of times. For instance, couples may struggle to move on with their lives after separating if they are continuing to share living spaces. For separating couples that do not communicate well, nesting can be complicated because it requires the couple to agree on the continued maintenance of the home and the nesting schedule. Further complications may be added when the separating spouses have started dating new partners. There may be privacy concerns for any shared spaces in the nest. Nesting, even for a temporary period, is not recommended for couples going through contentious litigation. 

For separating parents who communicate well enough to share spaces, nesting can be financially and emotionally beneficial, in the short term, for both the children and parents. Of course, it is vital that nesting couples have a written agreement outlining the parameters of the nesting situation. If you are interested in exploring a nesting arrangement or looking for legal representation in your divorce, reach out to Markham Law Firm today at 240-396-4373.